Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Orgasmaster Spell and Cybergenies

Orgasamaster
This spell causes an intense, momentary physical reaction in the body of its target.
Males are rendered insensible (3 Tricky penalty for all actions) for 2d2 rounds with a one time, 50% chance of falling asleep. However, they are then immune to the spell for twenty minutes to an hour. Females are distracted for one round only, but can be hit repeatedly, with only a 10%chance (cumulative for each spell caste) of falling asleep.

This spell works on any corporeal being, but will not work on most undead; the exception being Zombies, who have a 1in6 chance of exploding (no other effects) and vampires, who will momentary sparkle and then suffer (2 Average) damage in embarrassment. If this spell is caste on a pudding, ooze, cube or other single-celled creature, it will cause the creature to split, creating a Level 1 version of itself that will fight along side its mother.

For any animal or non-magical monster, there is a 1in6 chance that the beast will now follow the caster and behave in an affectionate manner. This is the equivalent of automatic Charm spell provided the mage castes Orgasamaster on the beast once per day.

I haven’t seen Weird Science since I was about 11. Now, thanks to the magic of Netflix I have seen it again. All I can say is that Robert Downey Jr must have pickled himself.

Cybergenie
These benevolent, ethereal creatures come from the dimension called The Net of Internia where it is said that hamsters dance, the rain is chocolate, porn is plentiful and cats do the craziest things. Cybergenies can only be summoned at a time of great need, by the most desperate and lonely, in the most mad-cap and improvised of rituals, the only rule being that everyone present must wear a bra on their head.

A Cybergenie’s only goal is the betterment of those who summoned it. They will do whatever their summoner asks and their powers include, but are not limited too, transmogrification, summoning demons, create needed objects, mind control and showering on demand.

However, a cybergenie is a truly benevolent entity and will never cause permanent harm to another individual (embarrassment and transmogrification, yes) and its true goal will always be to better its summoner, even if that means creating tests and situations that will force the summoner to act in a kind, unselfish or thoughtful manner. Once summoned, the genie will never give up and will only depart once it has fully redeemed its master.

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