Saturday, April 18, 2015

Sometimes, You Don't Want the Loot.

Link
"What is it?" asked Lumbar the Dwarf. 

Thakko the Barbarian shrugged and pulled another one of the strange and twisted items out of the case.   

Lumbar stood up and looked towards the tall elf who was examining a large glass tank filled with a bubbling green liquid. Something large, pale and bloated floated inside. "Hey Uros, what was this guy suppose to be again?" the Dwarf asked.

"I believe Natu referred to him as a biomancer." The elf said, not taking his eyes from the tank.

Thakko stood up, his hands full items from the case. "What does it matter?", he asked. "A sorcerer is a sorcerer. He's dead now anyway. I took his head clean off with one stroke of my axe, Luwanda. So it's not like he can complain. Hey Lumbar, you think any of this stuff is made out of platinum?"

"Bioz, meaning 'life' and manci meaning, 'magic'. Both derived from the ancient Senilean. This mage studied life itself, Thakko, and take piece out of your mouth." Uros said as he turned to face his companions. "Judging by the creatures we encountered, and from what we have seen in these laboratories, I would guess he had experimented with hybrids, even creating new monsters of a like never seen before."

Lumbar nodded. "Makes sense. That thing that ate Natu was pretty strange. Even for us." 

"And how does one create new life?" Uros asked.

The two stared at him for a moment. 

The elf sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with two long fingers. "I will give you a hint. Lumbar has a longstanding arraignment with a certain redheaded barmaid at Mrs. Fubb's Parlor. Thakko is much less discriminating, especially after a few rounds and on one memorable occasion was once caught with a stuffed bearowl." 

Lumbar frowned. "Yer a sick elf, Uros. You know that?"

"My own preferences are not relevant here as they are not likely to result in offspring." 

"You mean, all this stuff is for ...?" Lumbar trailed off.

"I believe so, yes."

"What are you guys talking about?" Thakko asked.

The Dwarf looked at him "Put the stuff down. We're leaving." 

"But..."

"Now, Thak!" 

"Lumbar, I would suggest you to keep your voice down, if I were you." Uros said

"What the hell for? Thak, get that piece out of your mouth!" 

"Because," Uros said, his voice strained. "You don't want to wake him up."

There was a loud crash as Thakko dropped the armload of items back into the chest. "You mean that time with the bearowl when I .... that's what this stuff is for? Why didn't you tell me?"

"What do you mean, 'wake him up', Uros?" Lumbar asked, his hand going to the long knife tucked into his belt. 

The elf drew the long, thin sword from the scabbard on his hip and began to back away from the tank. "I mean, dear Lumbar, that I believe the thing we killed was at best a simulacrum, perhaps a cutting like one might do with a plant. Our real foe is still here. Stand ready, look!"

It was then that the pale, bloated thing in the tank opened all of its eyes. 
Note the spikes

Friday, April 17, 2015

Choice of the Petal Throne

There is a gamebook set in the Empire of the Petal Throne! It's called Choice of the Petal Throne and it is available here.

The reviews I've seen have been largely positive, most siting the density of Tekumel's setting, history and language as the only drawbacks.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Dungeoneer Your Own Fighting Fantasy films! Part 1

“Now you and your friends can create your own fantasy movies! Imagine that you are the director and your friends are the cast of heroes. Will you send them to battle with the evil wizard or recover the Dragon's hoard? The choice is yours, and Dungeoneer makes the exciting world of fantasy roleplaying accessible in a thoroughly user-friendly manner.
“You can start straight away and introduce more complex rules and scenarios as you and your friends gain experience as director and actors. So, are you ready? Then let the camera roll...”

Dungeoneer is an odd book, but a fun one. I’m not even really sure why it exists as there was already a rule book for turning the Fighting Fantasy Gamebook rules into a proper tabletop rpg. That original book seems to be almost impossible to find nowadays, but there was a reboot done in 2011 that I am keeping a very eager eye out for.
The Holy Grail of 1984
So what is Dungeoneer? It is about as an ‘introduction to roleplaying’ manual as you could find. It was intended as a manual for transitioning kids from gamebooks to full-on rpgs. The entire book is structured so that first time players and ‘directors’ can get a game up and running in the Fighting Fantasy world of Titan. It actually does this surprisingly well. The approach reads as a bit hokey, comparing running a game to ‘directing’ a movie, but this really isn’t a bad way for first time gamers to look at it. They set up scenes and learn to build tension, and plot while learning what to cut out. It also makes sense when you remember that this was published in 1989 and invoking images of Conan, Hawk the Slayer, Krull, Willow, Dark Crystal and other films of the time is surprisingly effective. I would have been around just the right age for this when it first came out, and I would have eaten this shit up like Dunkaroos.
I gotta stat these sugar-crack dealing Kangaroos at some point. 
After the standard 'what is role-playing' introduction (girls can play too!), it launches right into a generic adventure called, generically enough ‘The Tower of the Sorcerer’ . This is designed to get the group rolling without the tedious task of learning the rules.  This works well as Fighting Fantasy is relatively rules-lite, and it is always more fun to learn by playing than reading or listening to the GM explain everything.  The adventure itself is pretty bland (climb the tower to rescue the princess. There isn’t even a maze, just a long corridor with optional rooms) and would be a major turn off even for an introductory adventure, except for three things: 

1 It avoids the whole ‘you are approached in a tavern’, or the ‘starts with a battle’ stuff that has become an immediate turn off for me. Tower starts with your group being lead up towards the evil sorcerer's lair by the local garrison. After a quick explanation as to why you’re there to encourage some actual role-play, the adventure gets underway almost immediately.  

2 The art of John Sibbick. I love the art of the FF books, it evokes a real sense of place. Titan comes across as quite a classic fantasy gritty world, more in common with Thieves World than Tolkien, but with a lot more traps and haunted forests.  
3 The adventure end with the heroes stuck at the top of a goblin riddled tower, a new antagonist or two, no way home and the whole world of Titan to explore. There is also a sequel adventure, which you can launch into right away, or you can start playing in your sandbox. If the kid was already a Fighting Fantasy veteran, they would know that there is a whole wide world out there to explore (and adapt). 

Dover Castle


My mother is from Dover and I have visited a few times. Needless to say that I have spent hours exploring this magnificent castle and it is my default when picturing places like Cair Paravel, The Red Keep (before the show), and other big castles.

It was recently used as a setting in the movie, Into the Woods.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Elmore Leonard: 10 rules for Writing

Justified ended last night. If you have not seen it, I strongly recommend you do so ....

I honour of the show, I present Elmore Leonard's 10 rules for writing. The only one I disagree with is 3 (and 4). I've read otherwise great novels that adhere to this rule and I find that it can turn long stretches of dialogue kind of tedious. Nevertheless, they are otherwise good advise to aspiring writers and I love the fact that almost all of these are completely ignored by most genre (especially y/a) authors.

1  Never open a book with weather.
2  Avoid prologues.
3  Never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue.
4  Never use an adverb to modify the verb "said”…he admonished gravely.
5   Keep your exclamation points under control. You are allowed no more than two or three per
      100,000 words of prose. (reminds me of what Pratchett said about exclamation points)
6   Never use the words "suddenly" or "all hell broke loose."
7  Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly.
8  Avoid detailed descriptions of characters.
9  Don't go into great detail describing places and things.
10 Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.

The most important rule is one that sums up the 10.

 If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.

Cooloola Monster


Despite its name, this strange 1 inch creature is actually a distant relative of the cricket. Found in Australia (natch'), it was actually strange enough that they gave it its own family, the Cooloolidae.

It also spends its whole life underground, which makes perfect for diabolical gamemasters. Nothing like telling the player that his 12th level fighter just got munched by a giant, subterranean cricket.



Tuesday, April 14, 2015

My New Hero

Miguel Zavala is 3D printing all the monsters from the classic D&D Monster Manual, plus a few other classics ....
THE DREADED GAZEBO!

The cheque is in the mail!

The only way this could be more awesome is if you could get these as playsets!
Sewer Maze, complete with wall monster action!
Neon Underground Temple, complete with working escalator!
 and of course Chinatown Alley ... with the Porkchop Express!! 


Monday, April 13, 2015

Flea Market Find!

Got them all for $4 (Canadian!). 

I love Gamebooks. I'm terrible at them, but I love playing them. As a kid I hacked and cheated my way through most of the Way of the Tiger, some of the Lone Wolf books and a bunch of the classic Fighting Fantasy. I sold them all off at some point, and now like so many other middle aged men in the grips of terminal nostalgia, I am now trying to collect them again. 

Yesterday the Wife and I went to a local flea market and I found these four little beauties. I got them cheap because unfortunately most of them are in TERRIBLE condition. I bought them anyway because I didn't have any of the Sorcery series yet and because it was honest to glob Dungeoneer! 

Dungeoneer was the Fighty Fantasy RPG. Combined with Out of the Pit (the bestiary), you could run actual tabletop games with your friends in the FF world of Titan (I highly recommend Titan for any fantasy fan). I'm going to through the book and see how viable as an rpg it actually is. 

Sunday, March 29, 2015

So this happened ...

I cannot figure out how to watch the new season of Community in Canada and I am becoming very upset. I mean, just lOOk!