Saturday, December 29, 2012


Movies, Games and Books that I wish were available as Roleplaying Games.

CARS ... seriously. Hear me out.

10,000 years from now, humanity has been wiped out by a combination of war, plague and environmental collapse. Only sentient robots survive, but have developed a society that perversely parallels their long extinct creators. 

Their favourite pastime is the deadly bloodsport known as The Race, which is played out on increasingly convoluted and dangerous tracks.

Suggested Supplements:  
Route 66, The Piston Cup, World Grand Prix.

Suggested Gamesystem:
Car Wars, of course. 

The Ugly, the Bad and the Good

Yer all dying to know what I thought of my Holiday Viewing, aren’tcha?

The Ugly
We should all just admit it: The Doctor Who Christmas specials suck. Flying Sharks in a Christmas Carol? The Mecha, the Box and the Wardrobe? Titanic in space, ferchrissake! They usually run the gambit from goofy to this bad. And then there is this year’s abysmal offering which just utterly fell apart as both a Doctor Who story, and as a coherent narrative in general.

Matt Smith isn’t very good at angst or grief. He’s quite good at the manic, playful side of the Doctor, which I quite like (Doctor Two is a personal fav), and he can handle angry okay. But I did not buy him as sad and alone at the beginning. A little upset maybe, but he immediately perked up the minute that something interesting happened, and as a result, he got a whole lot more interesting to watch. His playing with he alien butler was the highlight of the episode, and the best Who dialog that Moffat has managed to shake loose all year.

But this year, the playfulness went right off into teeth aching twee. The best example I can give is the idiotic ‘invisible stairwell’ and the TARDIS being parked on a cloud. It was suppose to represent loneliness and perhaps a bit of romanticism for the good Doctor (when Oswin showed up anyway), but it came across as ‘we ran out of money, so someone run down and grab a fog machine and old wrought-iron stairway from props!’

Don’t even get me started on the splattered cow pat that Moffat passes off as 'plot’. I can’t even begin to tell you what happened here. The super-saphic duo of Lizard and Wife were brought in because the fans liked them, and then promptly did absolutely fuck all (Screenwriting 101: Show Katanta -> USE THE KATANA!). What the ice-nanny and the kids had to do with it, I have no idea. The snowmen where about as scary as a slush puddle. And most unforgivable of all, they somehow wasted the awesome Richard E. Grant (Withnail!) even more than they wasted the awesomely awesome Derek Jacobi (Claudius!). 

Fine, Oswin is kind of neat, but I’m TIRED of the “Doctor and cute-female-companion-with-a-destiny show”. Can we please have something different now?

Not until Moffat leaves, unfortunately.

The Bad
There are a lot of mixed reviews for the Hobbit, and this is because it is an incredibly mixed movie. There are some parts really didn’t like (the battle in the Goblin King’s cave was … incredibly video-gamey), and some parts I adored (Riddles in the Dark).

But I have to say, unless the next two movies (a VERY bad sign given how padded this one is) are a marked improvement, I will not be adding them to my movie collection the way I eagerly gobbled up LotR.

Which actually depresses the hell out of me; since ‘The Hobbit’ was the first ‘grown-up book’ I remember reading.

The Good
It doesn’t seem to have gotten much press, but if you are a fan of Zombies, animation, or just enjoy funny, well written movies; see ParaNorman. 

Thursday, December 27, 2012


I just signed on to LEGO CUUSOO, which is an amazing page where fans build their own LEGO projects and you get to vote on your favorites. If the project gets 10,000 votes, you can BUY A SET. Do you realize what this means?!

When this baby its 88mph ... you're going to see some serious shit.
Having just unwrapped a metric craptonne  of LEGO Monster Fighters (the wife found a sale) and the official 'LEGO BOOK' , you could say I was something of a LEGOholic. Or at least I would be except for the fact that I'm also very, very poor.

Monday, December 24, 2012

T'was the Night of the Zombies

T’was the night before Christmas and surrounding the house,
The undead where gathering and lurching about.
The windows were boarded with plywood in sheets,
In the hopes that the zombies would move down the street.

The shotgun was nestled right next to the bed,
If they come through the door, I’ll blow off their heads.
And Mamma had turned from the bite in her hand
So I bashed in her head with an old frying pan.

When out on the lawn I heard something shatter,
I peaked through the spyhole to see what was the matter.
A ways down the block, there walked Mr. Nash
Torn open and turning, from a big bloody gash

The moon on the breast of the blood splattered snow
Gave a luster of crimson to the slaughter below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight zombie reindeer;
With a gruesome old driver, so gory and sick,
I knew in a moment, it was the dreaded Saint Nick.

More bloody than leeches, his legend, defamed,
As he flew through the night, seeking the living to maim.
On Duke street! On Main street! Now Frank Street and Dixon!
On Finch street! On Dutch street! On Conner and Nixon!
To the top of the town, all the way down to the mall,
He slaughtered the, slaughtered them, slaughtered them all!

As dead as a doornail, the living they slew,
When they met with an obstacle, they bashed their way through,
So up to the house, the undead did hunt
With a yard full of zombies, and St. Nicolas in front.

And then in an instant I heard overhead
The gnashing and clawing of the dead.
As I loaded my shotgun and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicolas fell before I could get off a round.

He was covered in gore, from his head to his feet,
And his clothes were all tarnished with blood, brains and meat;
A bundle of bodies he had flung in his pack,
And he looked like a tiger, just about to attack!

His eyes how were like pustules, his skin grey to the bone!
His teeth were all broken, his nose was just gone.
His hungry, black mouth was pulled up in a sneer,
And the side of his head was missing an ear.
The remains of some poor soul, held tight in his teeth,
And the stink of the dead, encircled his head like a wreath.

He was bloated with rot, a gashed open belly
That shook when he walked, guts running like jelly.
He was hungry and rotten, right scary and dead.
I laughed when I saw him, my sanity fled.

The dead look in his eye, and the twist of his head,
I soon pissed my pants, my heart filled with dread;
He spoke only one word, a long twisted, “braaaains’,
And lunged with a jerk; my life nearly slain.

But laying my hand aside of my gun,
I fired one last shot for I had nowhere to run.
His head it did burst, like an overripe melon,
And then I noticed the bite like the stab of a felon.  

But soon I will have nothing to fear,
Happy Christmas to all, I’ll be coming for you next year!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Merry Mayan Zombie Apocalypse!

I am ridingout the end of the world on a small island in the North Atlantic. Good luck to any other survivors out there and see you soon!

Monday, December 17, 2012

RPG Wish List: Brazil

Movies, Games and Books that I wish were available as Roleplaying Games.

Sam is a man who works in a mind-numbing, bureaucratic job, living in a cramped apartment in a dystopian world in dependent on ducts, paperwork and poorly maintained machines. But when he sleeps, he is a warrior on a quest to rescue the woman of his dreams.

Then one day, he sees her walking into the Ministry of Information to complain about a clerical error that will thrust both of them into a dangerous game filled with renegade heating engineers and pursued by an inept government that will do anything to cover up its mistakes. At night, his dreams grow ever darker as he tries to save the woman of his dreams.

I have no idea how I saw this movie when I was eleven years old, but I didn't have the slightest clue as to what was going on. Then nine years later, I saw it as a late night movie and was completely blown away. This is one of those films that you can watch again and again and see something new every time. It struck me that it would make for a trippy campaign, where the party is stuck is a bureaucratic nightmare during the day, but at night they must battle through a surreal landscape and ruled by dream logic.

Suggested Supplements:
A Citizen's Guide to the Ministry of Information, A Citizen's Guide to Central Services, The Lucid. Of course all character sheets must be filled out in triplicate.

Suggested Systems:
Depending on how the Gamemaster wanted to handle this kind of game, it could range from Chuthulu Dreamlands, to Over the Edge, to Paranoia. I would try Something Went Wrong where a GMless game would be a good fit for the directionless ineptitude of the Ministry, and the dream logic of the Lucid.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Video Saturday: Christmas Edition II

The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus.
So delightfully trippy and weird, I love this one.And you have to admit that the characters would make some incredible collectibles.

Friday, December 14, 2012

The Seventh Son

A movie that is apparently due out late next year. I'm intrigued if only because I'd pay to watch a movie of nothing but Jeff Bridges making and eating a sandwich, and because it teams him up with his Big Lebowski co-star Julianne Moore. 

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Geek made Good

One of my game group has turned her PhD thesis into a book, so a very proud and shameless PLUG!

Cyberpunk Woman. Feminism and Science Fiction.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Instruments of Deathmas!

12 Nightmare Inducing Medical Instruments of Yester-Year 
(above: an amputation knife for your next cleric character)

RPG Wish List: Galaxy Quest

RPG Wish List Movies, Games and Books I wish were available as Roleplaying Games.

Galaxy Quest
"By Grabthar's Hammer, Questerians Unite!"
A group of washed up actors from a cancelled, low budget sci-fi show suddenly find themselves in way over their heads when an alien race with no concept of fiction enlists their help in facing a galactic threat.

Best Star Trek movie EVAR. Some movies just make you happy and this is one of mine. If I ever ran a Star Trek campaign, this is how I would do it. You could run it (semi-)straight as a proper NSEA crew with disposable redshirt. Or and this would even be more fun, as a troupe of washed out actors and conventioneers as they bumble their way through the galaxy aboard an alien built replica of the NSEA Protector.

This website is old, but has some great info, including an episode guide for the show.

Suggested Supplements: Ships of the NSEA. Aliens of the Galaxy, The Sarris Dominion, The QuestCon 2013 Handbook.

Suggested Game Systems: Star Trek FASA. Star Trek DecipherThere is also a new OSR game that is based on Trek that I've seen some good reviews for, but I can't remember the name for the life of me.

Update: The Game is Starships and Spacemen. Thanks, Tim!

Monday, December 10, 2012

National Geographic Photo Contest 2012

If at least one of these images doesn't inspire you, you haven't looked hard enough.  

Sunday, December 9, 2012

My RPG Wish List: ALIEN

It being the Holiday Season, I decided to put together a list of what I really, really want for Christmas...

RPG Wish List
Movies, Games and Books I wish were available as Roleplaying Games

I'll start with an easy one. I’ve seen homebrew versions of this since I logged on to my first BBS and it is not hard to see why; a team of marine/scientists/colonists up against the last great movie monster. You’ve got space ships, terraformed planets, androids, space wrecks, cool gear and a hell of a monster manual, plus enough movies, comics, games and tie-in books to keep any gamemaster rolling for years.

Suggested Supplements: The Colonial Marine Manual. A Handbook for Employees of The Weyland-Yutani Corporation. The Predator Sourcebook.

Suggested System: WEG d6. Simple system that runs quickly, with enough crunch and variation for character and gadgets. Handles space opera and scaling (from human to vehicle up to capital ships) well.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Video Saturday: Christmas Edition

It's not technically Saturday, but they said I had to use the last of my vacation days or lose 'em, so it is Saturday to me! Anyway, this is a Xmas special from a long, long time ago that I only half remembered until my wife found it on Youtube. Which is pretty impressive when you consider that all I'd had given her to go on was 'aliens' and 'a goose'.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Beginnings Blogfest

The Beginnings Blogfest

The Awesome that is TRON

Retronaut has a great gallery of original TRON posters. Its a damned shame this never made it as an RPG. One of my wish list projects would be to do a TWERPS or ROLLCORE TRON/Matrix book.