Festival of the Bizarre

I have exactly one professional writing credit. Back in 2004 I was lucky enough to write a Talislanta adventure module for Morrigan Press entitled “The Weight of Water”.

The biggest thrill for me was seeing artists like Adam Black and Ron Spencer turn my words into some spectacular illustrations. I even got a cover done by the preeminent P.D.Breeding-Black!

After that, they commissioned me to write a second book entitled, ‘The Thaecian Isles: Festival of the Bizarre”, but the rpg business being what it is, the book never saw the official light of day (there were also plans for a sequel to ‘WoW’ called, “A Glimmer of Glass’ that unfortunately never made it past an outline). Nevertheless, I did complete a draft of ‘Festival of the Bizarre’.

Both Weight of Water and Festival of the Bizarre are available for free at Talislanta.com, but I wanted to host a copy here on my own site.

Discworld Diceless

This was a mash-up of GURPS Discworld and Amber Diceless I did back before the turn of the millenium. I found it buried on a drive and turned it into a PDF. Absolutely in no-way an offical product of any kind.
Discworld Diceless PDF

Old Skool Skeleton Fight

If you've never seen it, this clip is a Old Skool classic and a must for OSR gamers.
It still gives me chills, its so good. I would easily throw the skeletons up against any CGI monster they have farted as us so far.

The movie (Jason and the Argonauts, 1963)is a treat for Harryhausen fans, but the plot drags like leg irons and makes absolutely no sense. However, if you're not content with youtube clips, I recommend doing what I did and DVR it, scanning for the good bits which include the Colossus, the Harpies, the Hydra and the climactic Skeleton fight. I guarantee that each one will inspire you to throw some of these oldy, but goodie monsters.

April A to Z: Cleopolis

Cleopolis
The largest city on Nood and capital of the Empire of Elves, Cleopolis lies protected by a natural harbour before spilling out into the waters of Backwash Bay. Though located much closer to the northern border, the city is the cultural, governmental and most importantly, economic heart of a realm that sprawls across half a continent.

When the Silvery Elves returned from Sha’nana, they brought with them a new philosophy and a new leader. Under the Empress Gloriara, they would no longer be confined to their southern enclaves complaining how back in their day, the quests really meant something and yelling at the younger races to get off their lawn.

They heralded their return by conquering the Penultima, the last human kingdom. Penultima has been long suffering under the reign of King Pladimir the Mad and the conquest was almost bloodless as many regions and lords quickly defected. Only a few pockets of royalist resistance around the royal city of Tamshanter put up a fight, but even those died away in the final battle that has become known as The Last Plummet of Pladimir.

The elves incorporated Penultima into their rapidly expanding empire, but left Tamshanter and the region to pretty much govern itself where it dissolved into the lands known today as the Little Kingdoms. Instead they moved their capital to a peaceful fishing village on the western shore of Backwash Bay. Carving stone from the White Cliffs, they built a shining city they called Cleopolis.

The city’s true heart are the two massive harbours that expand north and south from the center park that is home to the Imperial Palace. Ships from across Nood can be found docked in her harbour and peoples and races of every description can be found in the bustling waterfront, sprawling markets and crowded streets. The city is open to anyone, though only those born in the Empire are considered citizens and only Elves are allowed positions of command. Free trade is encouraged, which has brought in merchants, artisans and tradesmen from every corner of Nood, and sometimes from beyond it.

Major areas in the city include the North and South Harbours, the Imperial Park, the Great Circus, the Hammock District, The Nightgardens, The Nymphodrome, the Pool of the Moons, Little Dwarfsburg. The poorest and most dangerous area of town, known as the Snarls, lies outside the city, nestled against the walls like a bloated, but contented leech.

Though peaceful, the city is heavily protected the navy, a dedicated legion known as the Polyguard whose best troops serve as Imperial Guard to the Empress herself and by some of the most lethal and officious bureaucracy ever devised. There are also the ten Sun Towers; massive columns built each topped by mirror designed by Gnomish Imagineers to throw a devastating beam of burning light on any invader.

Geek and Sundry

I signed up. Gives me something to watch in treatment.

The Worst Thing To Happen to Star Wars, Ever

I liked the Ewoks in RotJ; I consider the Christmas Special and Droids TV show cannon; I even own a copy of Masters of Teras Kasi, even if it became Teraskasi's Bantha Burger Hutt in our expanded Star Wars d6 game. I own classic VHS and DVD burned copies of the original Laser Disc, pre-fucked with versions of the Holy Trilogy. I did my best to ignore all the prequals stuff because, as one friend with an Anakin obsessed gradeskooler put it, he didn't make the movies for you (which is the fairest argument I ever heard in defense of the prequals). But this, this atrocity may just kill the very last embers of Star Wars fandom buring in my old, jaded heart.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH!!

April A-Z; Barbaria, Land of

Barbaria, Land of
This wild and untamed region occupies much of the north-east ‘horn’ on the continent of Zhuul. Legend tell of a peaceful empire that once flourished there, brought low by hubris, sin and a never-ending war against the forces of Chaos. Now it is a barren land, dominated by icy wastes to the north, barren mountains to the west, burning deserts to the south and a small, but thriving beach community to the east.

Small, fierce and mostly nomadic barbarian tribes war constantly each other for the few remaining resources, including iron, water and the herds Thunder Lizards that are prized as mounts.The land is littered with strange ruins said to contain weird artefacts from a bygone age including metal rods that can shot destructive fire, indestructible armour and small tablets that can always locate the closest coffee bar are just some of the items that have been found in the region, and may explain the greater number of Moonians lurking in the area. The region is also the only known source of ultranium, a rare element coveted by magicians and sorcerers for its transmogrifying powers and may explain the number of hideous mutants that roam through Barbaria.

There is only one city here; Malgragrarzhad, also known as the Bleak Citadel, the City of Chains, the Weeping Yard and the Big Avocado. It is dominated by the Megalord Shahrazar, absolute ruler of the city and High Priest of the Black Hydra Cult. It is a bleak and terrible place, filled with slave pits, bloody gladiatorial arenas and terrible temples dedicated to the darkest gods and other things beyond imagination. Recently, the Megalord has to begun a program to encourage a certain kind of tourism, including more jewel-eyed giant statues, more mad death cults, a small theme park for the kids and a special on two for one rescued princesses.

April A-Z: Albert, Continent of

Albert, Continent Of

Named for the famed explorer, wizard, scholar and gadabout Zuzznufus Albertus XIII, Founder of Kordoba City, Conqueror of the Merryshire, Circumnavigator of the Unpassable Peaks, Human Ambassador in Exterminus of the Elven Empire and current resident of the Skullspear. Each year on the anniversary of his death, Albertus’s skull still gives a heavily attended lecture at the Magical Academy of Oort. He can also be found for drinks every Thirdsday at the hour of the Housecat at the ‘Twig and Berries Inn’, Silver Dragon Alley, Cleopolis

The largest continent sprawls across the western hemisphere like a pressed elephant. The northern shores disappear into the Sea of Snows while the eastern coast is dominated by Backwash Bay the spills out into the Emerald Oceans. Backwash Bay is also home to the city of Cleopolis, capital of the Elven Empire that rules the eastern half of the continent and south to the Unpassable Peaks.

West of Cleopolis sprawls the largely unexplored Morning Wood, rumoured to he home to Sasquatch, feral humans and the lost tribes of Grayish Elves who split from their Silvered cousins over the issue of indoor plumbing. Beyond the woods it is said are the Really Far Hills and the fabled elven paradise of Sha’nana.

South of the Backwash lies the realms that make up the bulk of the Empire; The Little Kingdoms, the Merryshire, The Nurkslands and the Planes of Ghluten before the borders of the Empire peter out. The last outpost of civilization to the south is the free city of Port Eel, set up as a tax haven by forward thinking elves before the land plunges into the soggy depths of Suck Swamp.

South of that mire lies the Unpassable Peaks and beyond them, the vast ruined land know as the Nether Regions, destroyed along with the Demonlord Yob Slobbersloth a millennia ago and now home only to fearsome monsters, rampaging Ork Hordes and places whose very name can coax nightmare out of the stoutest hearted of heroes; Cliffs of Plogg, The Crawling Tower, Kuddleztowne and the nefarious Castle Sulk, to name but a few…


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Squeaked it under the wire, but made my first A-Z post!

Repost from Dreams of Mythic Fantasy Blog

HERE
Because it contains two things that I am insanly excited about. The first is Anamolous Subsurface Environment which I have wanted since I first read about it, plus

Lich Dungeon a new dungeon by Frank Mentzer!

Oscar!

Oscar meets Wilde in the next Muppet film?