Thursday, December 8, 2011
The Rules of Magic
The rules governing magic from a bunch of TV shows, movies and book series.via IO9.
Save Greendale!
Because Network television seems determined to make me spend even more time on Netflix, they have stuck Community on hiatus.
I just realized that my DVR is set to record only a handful of shows, and most of those are old brit-coms off the religous network (Black Books!) or old cartoons off toon retro (the Real Ghostbusters!). Community was THE remaining network show that I actually looked forward too each week. Sure I think Modern Family is funny and I continue to watch Big Bang out of some morbid curiosity - that is rapidly fading. I'm convinced that I'm going to tune in and see that they built aUrkleSheldon-Bot (or have they actually done this already?), but I genuinely LIKE Community. It is clever and funny and fast, it has Chevy Chase in it, they played D&D, had an anime sequence and I seriously want a Louis Guzman statue for my garden. Are these on ThinkGeek yet?
Cancelling Community is just going to be another Arrested Development sized mistake that makes the network suites look even further out of touch with the modern world. I like to picture them as being all white males about sixty years old, wearing Miami Vice pastel suits with the sleeves rolled up and laughing themselves sick over reruns of Growing Pains.
This has gone on much longer than I intended. Go Human Beings!
I just realized that my DVR is set to record only a handful of shows, and most of those are old brit-coms off the religous network (Black Books!) or old cartoons off toon retro (the Real Ghostbusters!). Community was THE remaining network show that I actually looked forward too each week. Sure I think Modern Family is funny and I continue to watch Big Bang out of some morbid curiosity - that is rapidly fading. I'm convinced that I'm going to tune in and see that they built a
Cancelling Community is just going to be another Arrested Development sized mistake that makes the network suites look even further out of touch with the modern world. I like to picture them as being all white males about sixty years old, wearing Miami Vice pastel suits with the sleeves rolled up and laughing themselves sick over reruns of Growing Pains.
This has gone on much longer than I intended. Go Human Beings!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Half Elves
The Atlantasia quote below seems to be causing a stir:On Atlantasia you will NEVER find a half-breed elf (if a female elf was ever raped by another race she would commit suicide). (uh, so what would happen if a male elf had relations with a female human?)
I can't say I would ever use this in my games, or even that it makes sense, but if that is the way he wants to run his table, leave him be.
I was never a fan of half-elves personally because I find once you start allowing cross-breeds you end up with that character who is half human half dragon half elf who was raised by ninja pirates and taught to fight by a rengade drow swordmaster and so on. I usually solved the problem by simpley having humans and elves (all demi-humans) unable to produce offspring. They are different species after all.
In general I also try to play up the fairie elements of 'Elves' and fairies, from what I've read, tend towards the sexually capricious. Even Tinkerbell has attended at least one orgy (seriously, read Peter Pan carefully). I'll leave you to look that up yourselves because there is no way I am typing that into Google.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The Muppets
The Muppets movie meanwhile, were pretty freakin' great. Not quite up to the originals, but I don't suppose that is possible with Jim Henson gone. Still, more jokes stuck than missed and the music borders on the awesome (though your fondness for 'Flight of the Concords' style music may vary).
For me the moment that closest achieves perfection is the barbershop quarter rendition of 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'. This is SO something Henson would do to take the pretension out of one of the most overplayed and overrated songs in rock history.
For sticking points: I felt that there the movie lacked a certain zany chaos, the voices weren't always perfect (Fozzie seemed to be the least consistent) and poor Walter is just dull. His 'talent' comes right out of left field (and therefore feels unearned) and I couldn't help but feel that it was an attempt by Segal to get a version of himself enshrined into Muppet lore (not that I can blame him). However, I have a feeling that as soon as Segal vacates the producer's chair, poor Walt will end up in a box somewhere next to Roosevelt Franklin, Digit and Clifford.
.
Loot: Fart Shoes
Created by the wizard Wocka Wocka, this item appears to be a normal pair of leather shoes with sheep bladders afixed to the heels.
When worn the shoes make a constant amusing tooting sound, but twice a day (one for each shoe) they can release a cloud of noxious gas that will incapacitate anyone standing behind the wearer.
For me the moment that closest achieves perfection is the barbershop quarter rendition of 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'. This is SO something Henson would do to take the pretension out of one of the most overplayed and overrated songs in rock history.
For sticking points: I felt that there the movie lacked a certain zany chaos, the voices weren't always perfect (Fozzie seemed to be the least consistent) and poor Walter is just dull. His 'talent' comes right out of left field (and therefore feels unearned) and I couldn't help but feel that it was an attempt by Segal to get a version of himself enshrined into Muppet lore (not that I can blame him). However, I have a feeling that as soon as Segal vacates the producer's chair, poor Walt will end up in a box somewhere next to Roosevelt Franklin, Digit and Clifford.
Loot: Fart ShoesCreated by the wizard Wocka Wocka, this item appears to be a normal pair of leather shoes with sheep bladders afixed to the heels.
When worn the shoes make a constant amusing tooting sound, but twice a day (one for each shoe) they can release a cloud of noxious gas that will incapacitate anyone standing behind the wearer.
Halloween 2007
Netflix has this mislabeled as the original Halloween, but we decided to watch it anyway.
It is the very definition of 'pointless remake': The attempt to give Mike Meyers some psychological depth is laughable (he was child sociopath who liked masks and had a dick for a stepfather? Quick, somebody be surprised!) and the last half of the movie is yet another boring slasher chase which pits Mike against an extremely forgettable protagonist. There is nothing new or surprising or scary here, so do yourself a favour and go watch the original instead.
My biggest problem came from a mistaken impression that I'm convinced was deliberate on the part of the filmmakers. Given that I'm pretty sure that Mike had been in jail for fifteen years, I thought that the three girls were suppose to be fifteen/sixteen as well (supported by the their being in high school, general appearance, behavior and babysitting jobs), so when they start doffing their clothes throughout the second half, I started getting severely weirded out. I have absolutely no problem with women taking their clothes off, but this is skeezy, skeezy stuff.
After a bit of webcrawling, it turns out that Mike is in prison for about sixteen years total, which puts the girls' age at around seventeen. Pretty f*cking creepy.
I have no Gameraid for this, I just wanted to vent about how awful this movie was.
It is the very definition of 'pointless remake': The attempt to give Mike Meyers some psychological depth is laughable (he was child sociopath who liked masks and had a dick for a stepfather? Quick, somebody be surprised!) and the last half of the movie is yet another boring slasher chase which pits Mike against an extremely forgettable protagonist. There is nothing new or surprising or scary here, so do yourself a favour and go watch the original instead.
My biggest problem came from a mistaken impression that I'm convinced was deliberate on the part of the filmmakers. Given that I'm pretty sure that Mike had been in jail for fifteen years, I thought that the three girls were suppose to be fifteen/sixteen as well (supported by the their being in high school, general appearance, behavior and babysitting jobs), so when they start doffing their clothes throughout the second half, I started getting severely weirded out. I have absolutely no problem with women taking their clothes off, but this is skeezy, skeezy stuff.
After a bit of webcrawling, it turns out that Mike is in prison for about sixteen years total, which puts the girls' age at around seventeen. Pretty f*cking creepy.
I have no Gameraid for this, I just wanted to vent about how awful this movie was.
Sunday's Kids in the Hall Saturday
Because sometimes spending a day with the wife practising how to be the perfect couple is more important.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Back to the Red!
Robert Llewellyn, who plays the admirable Kryten on Red Dwarf has set up a blog about the filming of the tenth series!Edit: It might help if I actually posted the link.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Faking It
The image above comes from the first series of Blackadder when he is appointed the Archbishop of Canterbury. He soon realizes that a perk to the job is making money by selling fake religious artifacts such as pieces of the cross, wine from the wedding of Canaan, stuff Jesus made when he was still a carpenter, and Mary Magdalene's bosoms.It is not hard to find knock-offs and fakes in our world: purses, watches, movies, snake-oil medicine, Go-Bots and the Family Guy. It stands to reason that a fantasy world where magic is at least known to exist, there would be fake and knockoff magical items. These sorts of items could be sold by charlatans, honest merchants who don't know any better, or even easily availables alternatives for those who can't afford the real thing.
Knock-Off Magic Item Chart
Works the same as the regular item. May appear cheap or oddly coloured. GM rolls d12 and does not share result with the player.
D12
1 Item doesn't work at all
2 Works 10% of the time
3 Works 25% of the time
4 Works 50% of the time
5 Works 75% of the time
6 Works d4 times before failing for good
7 Works d6 times before failing for good
8 Works d10 times before failing for good
9 Works d12 times before failing for good
10 Works d20 times before failing for good
11 Works better than original, added effect or power bonus.
12 Item is cursed!
Hey Hey We're the Adventuring Party!
My wife is a Monkees fan. In fact, it might be fair to say she is THE Monkees fan east of Montreal. She had to give an eight minute speech on the band for a class and ended up going on for twenty before they cut her off. You know the game 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon'? Well she does a variation called 'Everything Goes Back to the Monkees' and it is a rare older movie where she doesn't suddenly exclaim, "He was in the Monkees!"
Which is just the very long way of saying that I've seen a lot of Monkees episodes. Last night a thought occured to me: this is what most roleplaying sessions would look like if they happened in "real life".
While they never found the Underground Lair of Bonky the Absolutely Mad and engaged a rust monster of owlbear in mortal combat, they often went off in search of treasures and face bad guys.
Most RPG players, at one time or another, have their characters make in-game jokes, run around like idiots when they've lost the thread, or forced the Gamemaster bend the plot like a slinky to get they players back on track.
The old 'Do Not Touch This Button, Button', works every time.
Encounter: Clearly Insane Person
The party runs across a lone individual who they quickly realize, has completely lost their mind. The person is the lone survivor of a previous party; a prisoner who hs been alone for a few decades; or in the case of the Monkees, an actor from a previous series who was left behind when the show wrapped.
This person has some information vital to the Party, however they are now so crazy that they can barely speak. Instead they can only string together nonsense gibberish or random words. However, the party member with the LOWEST Intelligence score somehow easily understands the gibberish. The Player of the PC is allowed to freely interpret the nonsent as they see fit, but the Clearly Insane Person can vehimently indicate the negative if the GM thinks the player has gone to far.
To convey the needed information, the GM can either have the Clearly Insane Person remember how speak after a bit of practise, or write down the info and pass it to the translate PC.
The Clearly Insane Person however, always asks for something in return for their help. While they do not want to leave their current location, they will demand something that is particularly silly.
Which is just the very long way of saying that I've seen a lot of Monkees episodes. Last night a thought occured to me: this is what most roleplaying sessions would look like if they happened in "real life".
While they never found the Underground Lair of Bonky the Absolutely Mad and engaged a rust monster of owlbear in mortal combat, they often went off in search of treasures and face bad guys.
Most RPG players, at one time or another, have their characters make in-game jokes, run around like idiots when they've lost the thread, or forced the Gamemaster bend the plot like a slinky to get they players back on track.
Encounter: Clearly Insane Person
The party runs across a lone individual who they quickly realize, has completely lost their mind. The person is the lone survivor of a previous party; a prisoner who hs been alone for a few decades; or in the case of the Monkees, an actor from a previous series who was left behind when the show wrapped.
This person has some information vital to the Party, however they are now so crazy that they can barely speak. Instead they can only string together nonsense gibberish or random words. However, the party member with the LOWEST Intelligence score somehow easily understands the gibberish. The Player of the PC is allowed to freely interpret the nonsent as they see fit, but the Clearly Insane Person can vehimently indicate the negative if the GM thinks the player has gone to far.To convey the needed information, the GM can either have the Clearly Insane Person remember how speak after a bit of practise, or write down the info and pass it to the translate PC.
The Clearly Insane Person however, always asks for something in return for their help. While they do not want to leave their current location, they will demand something that is particularly silly.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)