Rain of Tentacles

In Alaska, there have been reports of these creatures raining down from the sky, landing on gardens, streets, cars and unsuspecting passersby in Alaska. They are lampreys and scientists suspect that they are being dropped by gulls after being plucked from the ocean.

Spells
Rain of Petromyzontiformes
This spell summons a number of hungry lampreys (number appearing equal's spell level) to appear approximately 5' above the target. The lamprey's are disorientated, angry and slimey, and will cling to armour, clothing and skin. They do only minimal damage, but their presence creates a great disadvantage to the victim, forcing them to take a penalty to all rolls until the creatures are dislodged. It takes one complete action to remove one lamprey.

Rain of Tentacles
This spell is almost indistinguishable from an 'entangle' spell (or similar) except the victim is wrapped in strong, constricting tentacles that also moderate damage per round. A strength check is required to break free.

The Elder Codex of Puffykin Fluffstockings

500 year old proof that cats hate reading

Illomyster of Parth was a minor mage who eeked out a living copying scrolls and tomes. One day, while working on an elder codex, Illomyster's cat familiar Puffykins knocked over an inkwell of enchanted ink and then walked across the original book. This created a magical feedback of such catastrophic proportions that the resulting sixth dimensional exposions took out half the city. 

In true cat fashion, the only survivor was Puffykins.  

Puffykins went on to become a noted mage in his own right, though he forever scorned the use of scrolls, books and other writings. Some of his spells still survive however, either in their original forms or modified by later mages:

-Instant Opposible Thumbs        -Centre of Attention

-Buttface Doom                         -Look of Distain

-Greater Nap                             -Even Greater Nap

-Box of Sand                             -6th Dimensional Travel

-Midnight Howl                         -Instant Yarn

-Dangle Foe                              -Allowed on Counter

-"Transmorgrify this into Something I will Eat"

Bard Spell: The Sax Solo

Once, in the not so distant past, saxophone solos were considered the most powerful of musical interludes, and were randomly inserted into almost every song. This lead to a saxaphone glut and the cataclysmic collapse now known as the Sax Sacking of ‘91.

However, every bard worth her strings knows that sax is still the king of cool and that a perfectly timed solo can calm even the most savage beast, allowing allies time to rest, ready spells and prepare before the final push. Any bard who knows this spell and is in possession of a killer sax, can play a solo for a number of rounds equal to their skill level (bonuses for being outlined against the sky, leather pants, alternatively shirtless/wet shirt, and/or at sunset), during which time allied players can perform any action except directly attack an opponent, and all opponents are stunned by the sheer quantity awesome sauce they are being forced to ingest. Attacking an opponent during the solo immediately breaks the spell.

The Sex Panther

The sex panther is an ancient, eldritch creation of the ancient, late-night, cabal known as the Order of Burgundy.

Little is known of this mysterious order, save for a number of enchanted items that have survived the passing of countless ages, such as:
-Love Lamp
-The Trident of Tamland
-Space Gun from the Future
-and the hideous monster known as the Chicken of the Cave.

But the Order's most infamous and enduring creation is the Sex Panther. It isn't fully understood if the Sex Panther is some form of mystical creature from another plane, or if it is a magical construct, or even the aspect of an ancient god, but no matter how it is summoned or used, it always maintains two very distinct features that make it easily identifiable. The first is its bizarre statistical nature; there are no saving throws or opposition rules used when the Sex Panther is summoned, simply a percentage roll. At odds a bit greater than half the time (60%) , the Sex Panther works exactly as intended ... every time.

If the Sex Panther fails, then its second distinctive feature begins to play a much stronger roll. No matter what form the Sex Panther takes, it is always accompanied by an odor that has been politely described as a 'formidable scent that stings the nostrils' and a 'powerful feline musk', to the less kindly as 'pure gasoline'. Alternatively, it has also been described as 'a baby diaper filled with Indian food' or a 'turd covered in burnt hair'. On a statistical failure of a Sex Panther, the odor becomes overwhelming leading to a severe reaction

As its name implies, the Sex Panther is usually evoked in magic of a carnal nature. The spells, 'Fantana's Forget-me-Now', and 'Happy Pants Party' both rely on Sex Panther components, as do the Wand of Oscillation and the Chastity Belt of Desire. It is most commonly found in a liquid form dubbed the Cologne of Inexplicable Attraction. On occasion, ethereal Sex Panthers are summoned and given a physical form to be used as familiars by Tantric Sorcerers, Furry Wizards and by the more perverse sorts of Ranger.

In its weaponized form, the Sex Panther forms a powerful stink bomb that can overwhelm the senses, in mot cases (60% of the time), leading to incapacitating nausea, vomiting and in extreme cases, even death.

(guess what movie I saw this weekend?)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!