Silver and Leather Pouch.

This leather pouch is embossed with silver wire and dates from the 15th Century.

For more details, go here.

As not to offend anyone, I will not give it stats or a false story, but I will happy show it here as a beautiful piece of artwork.

Imagine a variation of this, carried by the spellcaster to hold his spellbook and scrolls.

The Dragon of Holding

Link

This strange magical hybrid, also known as a dragonbag, is thought to have resulted when a dragon was stuffed into a bag of holding, and then forgotten after the campaign was abandoned. Over time, the two merged to become the artifact known as the Dragon of Holding.

The item functions exactly as a regular bag of holding and even has a strap across the 'belly' that allows it to be carried over the shoulder. The bag is fully alive however, and as items must be taken in and out of the dragonbag's mouth, this can create difficulties if the creature is in a bad mood, or dislikes its current owner. 

The dragonbag also has two functioning wings, which makes the shoulder strap necessary as the creature may try to fly away in fear, boredom or in search of food. 

The Mega-Helm

Based on this offer from Capcom, I present .... the Mega-Helm! 

The Mega-Helm allows the wearer to recreate the effect of a recently cast spell. To use it, the wearer must concentrate as the spell is being cast. There is a fifty-fifty chance (modified by magical ability of the wearer) of absorbing the spell. There is also a 5% chance the helm will automatically absorb any spell caste in a 50' radius. 

The helm can only hold one spell at a time and attempting to absorb a second spell will automatically wipe out any previously held. Once the helm has 'copied' the spell, it can be cast d6 times per day (game-master rolls once per day). 

Rumor tells of an arm-piece of similar design with the ability to mimic the properties of magical wands, but to date, no credible witnesses have come forward. 

Deviant Art by MM4

Tentetsutou, the Sword of Heaven

Tentetsutou, translated as 'The Sword of Heaven' is a katana forged from a meteorite. 

House Rule: A magical sword does not have to be named. But any sword that urns its name, becomes magical. 

Sometimes, You Don't Want the Loot.

Link

"What is it?" asked Lumbar the Dwarf. 

Thakko the Barbarian shrugged and pulled another one of the strange and twisted items out of the case.   

Lumbar stood up and looked towards the tall elf who was examining a large glass tank filled with a bubbling green liquid. Something large, pale and bloated floated inside. "Hey Uros, what was this guy suppose to be again?" the Dwarf asked.

"I believe Natu referred to him as a biomancer." The elf said, not taking his eyes from the tank.

Thakko stood up, his hands full items from the case. "What does it matter?", he asked. "A sorcerer is a sorcerer. He's dead now anyway. I took his head clean off with one stroke of my axe, Luwanda. So it's not like he can complain. Hey Lumbar, you think any of this stuff is made out of platinum?"

"Bioz, meaning 'life' and manci meaning, 'magic'. Both derived from the ancient Senilean. This mage studied life itself, Thakko, and take piece out of your mouth." Uros said as he turned to face his companions. "Judging by the creatures we encountered, and from what we have seen in these laboratories, I would guess he had experimented with hybrids, even creating new monsters of a like never seen before."

Lumbar nodded. "Makes sense. That thing that ate Natu was pretty strange. Even for us." 

"And how does one create new life?" Uros asked.

The two stared at him for a moment. 

The elf sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with two long fingers. "I will give you a hint. Lumbar has a longstanding arraignment with a certain redheaded barmaid at Mrs. Fubb's Parlor. Thakko is much less discriminating, especially after a few rounds and on one memorable occasion was once caught with a stuffed bearowl." 

Lumbar frowned. "Yer a sick elf, Uros. You know that?"

"My own preferences are not relevant here as they are not likely to result in offspring." 

"You mean, all this stuff is for ...?" Lumbar trailed off.

"I believe so, yes."

"What are you guys talking about?" Thakko asked.

The Dwarf looked at him "Put the stuff down. We're leaving." 

"But..."

"Now, Thak!" 

"Lumbar, I would suggest you to keep your voice down, if I were you." Uros said

"What the hell for? Thak, get that piece out of your mouth!" 

"Because," Uros said, his voice strained. "You don't want to wake him up."

There was a loud crash as Thakko dropped the armload of items back into the chest. "You mean that time with the bearowl when I .... that's what this stuff is for? Why didn't you tell me?"

"What do you mean, 'wake him up', Uros?" Lumbar asked, his hand going to the long knife tucked into his belt. 

The elf drew the long, thin sword from the scabbard on his hip and began to back away from the tank. "I mean, dear Lumbar, that I believe the thing we killed was at best a simulacrum, perhaps a cutting like one might do with a plant. Our real foe is still here. Stand ready, look!"

It was then that the pale, bloated thing in the tank opened all of its eyes. 

Note the spikes

The Wizard's Ring

Night had fallen on the Nether Regions and the party had gathered in the common room of the The Belle End tavern. No sooner had the wench brought the first round that the black robed wizard seated himself at the head of the table. 

     "Seat's taken." snarled Thakko the Barbarian.

     "But I brought it from another table." protested the wizard.

     "Put it back before someone gets hurt." said Thakko.  

     "I am here on business." 

     "Oh, in that case." said Thakko. "Elvish, I think he's looking for something a little more up yer alley." 

     "I have not had to resort to such things since my apprentice days." Zhoosh Uros the Ranger said as he sipped his wine.

     "Stuff it, the both of you." Lumbar the Dwarf grumbled.  "What's the job, spellslinger?"

The wizard cleared his throat. "Well, I have a castle that needs exploring, and I hear that you lot are the best ... currently breathing that is."

Thakko slammed his stein on the table. "That's right, spellhead. Ever since Orkin's group lost it in the Caverns of Carnivorous Cockroaches, we've been number one around here."     

     "Which brings me to you." the wizard continued. "Interested?"

     "Depends. We haven't heard the job yet." said Lumbar.

Before he could answer, Thakko broke in. "There ain't a ruin, temple, dark wood or barber shop between here and Cleopolis that we haven't looted. Teleporting spells make me barf and we just did two weeks hard riding to get here from our last job. I ain't going no-where until my saddle sores are gone, and I work up a few more on the local working girls."

     "No spells and you will not have to travel at all, barbarian." promised the wizard. "But the job is available for a very limited time, and I will require your immediate assent."

    "Huh."

    "He means, now or never, you deviant imbecile." said Uros.

Thakko scoffed. "Sure, pal. If you can show me a castle to loot right now then I'm in!"

     "It pains me to say it, but I am curious enough to concur with the deviant imbecile." said Uros.

The wizard looked to the dwarf and received a shrug in reply. "Let's see what you got."

With a smile that would worry all the devils in hell, the wizard laid his hand on the table. "Excellent. Then I will need you all to gaze deeply upon my ring ...."  

Original Link. You can actually buy this!

Haven't been posting much because I'm working two jobs. Too tired to move.

Unicorn Skull

Its a real thing. National Geographic and everything!

Complete unicorn skulls are rare. Most are hacked apart for their horns and by some mystical process skull without its horn becomes magically inert, though still highly useful in the intimation of movie executives (+5 to all relevant rolls).

A skull with the horn still attached however, has many uses: paperweight, conversation piece, a really cool hat rat, but it can also be used in summoning ceremonies and for crafting the virgin-finders used by the bigger asshole class of priest, some sacrificial cults and fraternities.

Drillbra

IMDB Machine Girl

This terrifying weapon was crafted by the mad wizardess Ptosiss of Ghazongahz.

Usually hidden under robes, the Drillbra is a particuarly gruesome and deadly short range weapon.

The stories tell that Ptoiss crafted the Drillbra to protect royal woman from unwanted attentions when their husbands (or life partners), were away crusading, adventuring, delving or golfing. It is thought that Ptosiss made only the weapon one that she wore throughout her life. When she died, it was confiscated by the Elven Empress and is now displayed in her Museum of Mutilations.

However, sailors from across the sea tell of an island known as Vulvaria where a race of warrior woman, whose champions wear individually crafted drillbra and continue to wage a constant war against the forces of the phallus.

Inchworm Rider

An Inchworm Hero prepares for battle!

The Inchworm Rider is a clockwork steed once ridden only by the most decorated of Gnomish Heroes.

Through the ingenious use of springs, wheels and gears, the Rider is propelled and wound by a gentle rocking motion of the person in the saddle. Once the internal mechanisms is wound tightly enough, the inchworm will propel itself for miles, even up inclines or over rough terrain.

Stories tell of thousands of Riders, each individually crafted and outlandishly decorated in the typical Gnomish style. Unfortunately, many where destroyed in the Gnome war against the Gremlins, which pushed the Gnomes from their underground homes and the skills needed to craft a new Rider were lost. But a few were spared and are jealously guarded by the few remaining Gnomish Aristocratic families. Still, it is not unheard of to see one harnessed to a gnomish wagon or found buried in an ancient ruin. Worth a pretty penny too, if one can find the right sized buyer.

Thermos of Holding

The Thermos of holding was created by an alchemist of the same name, who desired a his potions in one place.

After intense study, he created the thermos. The container will hold up to two two litres of any liquid. Then, once the lid is screwed on and removed, the liquid inside is gone. The liquid can be recalled at will, in its original consistence and temperature.

It is thought that Thermos died when he accidentally recalled a potion of decomposition instead of chicken soup. His creation was then claimed by the Guide of Alchemists, who attempted to replicate the device, to middling success. Numerous copies now exist, though many of them are not as sturdy or reliable as the original.

Fight Milk: Fight like a Crow!

Fight milk is an alchemical mixture popular with fighters looking for an easy, quick boost.

It requires no special magical preparation and consists only of alcohol, milk and crow's eggs making it easy for fighters to brew their own batches. Many taverns and guild halls catering to warriors will usually have a few bottles for sale stashed away.

The concoction provides an immediate powerful boost to the person's aggression and strength that lasts for 1D4 hours (give or take a few hours depending on the person's endurance and/or capacity for alcohol).

Once the bonus has worn off however, it comes with a terrible hangover that lasts anywhere up to a whole day (2D10 hour) where in the person is barely functional and comes with massive penalties to almost ALL rolls. A failure of any role during this time is accompanied by a bout of projectile vomiting lasting D6 minutes in which the character cannot perform any actions whatsoever.

Told you I'd be doing a lot of 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' stuff. 

The Megalohelm

Link to youtube of MST3K movie

This was a standard issue pot helm until one day a bored soldier tacked an unconvincing tin bat ear on either side. With that small change and suddenly that soldier began to rocket through the ranks, until finally becoming the powerful Warlord who lead his armies into one of the most infamous defeats that it has gone down in history as The One Sided War.

The helm disappeared for many ages, until reappearing in recent times on the head of Gorbash the Grotesque, the notorious right hand of the Dark Sorceress Tiffany. After his humiliating death, it has been worn by a number of would-be conquerors, despots and mad emperors.

The effect of the helm is more psychological than magical, but may actually be more powerful because of it. While sporting the helm, the wearer believes themselves to be much more powerful and charismatic than they actually are, but people who look upon the wearer usually take them to be rather ridiculous, and therefore slightly less powerful than they appear to be.

This megalomaniac behavior grows over time and always as a natural reflection of the wearer's actual personality: strong and dominant people will become bullies, intellectuals will become cold and superior, hippies will become obnoxious, people who believe themselves to be attractive will become leering and vulgar, hipsters will remain hipsters,and god help you all if the character believes themselves to be funny.

In game terms, the helm is actually a detriment to any charisma roles that effect other people. However, the helm also supplies a bonus to the wearer whenever they are the target of a charisma roll. In addition, it also provides powerful protection against spells of persuasion charm and domination.

Spell Puppets

image from: Buttonbag Sockpuppets

Spell puppets were developed by the formost master of muppetomancy, Henso of Foz. While initially dismissed as ludricrous by the wizards of the Second and a Half Sorcerarium, the puppets proved so useful to Henso that many of the others soon adopted their use, even if it was only a hastely drawn face on a paper bag hidden away between the pages of some massive tome.

The rituals used to create a spell puppet is very similar to that of a scroll or a wand. The spell is imbued into the puppet where it can then be recast simply by slipping the puppet over the hand and recieiting the incantion. The advantage that was discovered in using puppets rather than a scroll or a wand, is that by creating a ritual with the puppet; by moving it in a certain way and/or by recieting the spell in a different voice, the power of the spell can be augmented without added penalty or danger to the caster.

Experienced muppetomancers can even imbue multiple spells into a single puppets. Some of the more famous puppets even begin to take on, if not a true sentience, then some eldrich version of intellience.

Grappling Gun!

Grappling Gun!

No matter where, no matter the system, adventurers throughout the multiverse agree that the coolest item ever created is the grappling gun. Simply by having a grappling gun in their possession doubles all reaction roles towards any character that does not own a grappling gun (this is why no one is cooler than Batman. Batman owns more grappling guns than anyone else, ever).

Properties of all Grappling Guns:
-It does not matter how small or lightweight the grappling gun is, it will support the weight of a fully laden adventurer  plus one damsel/dude in distress without strain.

-Grappling guns will always find purchase no matter what direction it is fired, and will automatically retract at the touch of a button with no snarling.

-100' of line, give or take.

Codpiece of Sir Jonad du Longlake, the Chaste.

Sir Longlake was the most beautiful and renowned dragonslayer of his age. His charm made him a popular guest at court and many a noblewoman would invite Sir Jonad to guard their estates while their husbands were away. In addition to hs beauty, charms and martial prowess he was said to posses other qualities, including one that earn him the nickname, Longlance.

Then, on a Quest to slay the Great Serpent of Veel, Sir Jonad was said to have a vision, one that caused him to give up dragonslaying and take vows with the Church of Prudent Vestial to become a true Paladin. When the news of his taking the tonsure got out, several noble maidens took vows at the Nunnery of Pafian and at least one threw herself into the Stone River. 

Unfortunately, Sir Jonad's quest ended when he faced the dreaded Vampire of Fartingdale armed with nothing but the a copy of the Book of Prude and an antiorgastic relic said to contain the pubic bone of Saint Hymen. 

When the sun rose the next morning, Sir Jonad's part entered Fartindale to search for the brave paladin, but all they ever found was his codpiece. It was returned to Manroot Abbey where it joined other sacred relics in the Great Hall of Abstinence. 

Many years later however, the codpiece is said to have disappeared. Rumours of its location have surfaced from time to time, each accompanied by tales of a great knight, unbeatable in battle, a master of charm and class, and as chaste as the newly fallen snow.

To wear the codpiece is to gain great prowess in battle and incredible charm that will stir members of the normally desired sex into an a bacchanalian frenzy. Unfortunately, removing the codpiece negates all bonuses, permanently, and creates an instantaneous negative reaction in anyone who was previous aroused. So much so that the unfortunate character will be forced to flee the area or face a slew of jealous husbands, partners and homicidally enraged family members.

Square Disks

These bizarre artifacts are often found in great quantities around certain ancient ruins.

No one is sure what they where used for, what they were made from or how they got the name of 'disc'. Some denizens of the deep dark places use them as currency, though they rarely have any value on the surface and are primarily seen as cheap curious.

For that reason, it not uncommon to see these strewn about the lairs and strongholds of experience delver where they are used as coasters or bookmarks or stuffed into bags, ready to be used on the next adventure.

One mage however claimed that she has found another use for them. Syber Pentiam, the Immemorial Benefice of Magics at the Second Lyceum of Magic, wrote a treatise claiming that if the right spells were used in conjunction with a disc, that it might be possible to record documents, images and even sounds. Her work progressed right up to the point where she attempted to save her self onto a string of nearly two thousand of the objects, wired together in some weird configuration.

When the ritual was completed Pentiam had disappeared. Unfortunately, in her zeal, she never instructed anyone else on her experiments and her notes were too incomplete and arcane for any of the other mages to decipher. For fear that her experiment was a success, the Lyceum has sealed off the room where the apparatus and the discs remain to this very day. The Second Lyceum has posted a substantial reward for anyone who might dare follow in Pentiam's footsteps, and allow their consciousness to enter the apparatus and learn its secrets.

Portable Standing Stones

Rituals, sacrifice, oak growing, so many different kinds of herbs, being a Druid means dozens of hours of preperation for even the simplest of spells.

Luckily, one enterprising young novice came up with the perfect solution for the busy Druid on the go... The Portable Standing Stone (c)!

Only 18" tall, the Portable Standing stone can be used in any ritual that normally requires monoliths, obelisk, stone tables, or astology-stones. Simply snap together and voila! Can go anywhere!

Order now and we'll throw in a free carrying carrier, comes in a variety of pleasing colours! Please specify prefered age (5-10), sex and ethnicity of prefered carrier.  

Two halflings demonstrate the use of the PSS.

Not really relevent, I just  think this is awesome.

The Autospermxtracotron

In an ancient and lost facility, abandoned for a thousand years the party suddenly comes across this strange device.....

Link for Explanation

Would they dare? There is always that one in the group that would dare...

If they do, roll D12 for the Result

1     Nest - The machine is long dead and now a home to a nest of Carrion Spiders. Roll for damage!

2     Stuck! - the apparatus is long dead, dried out and is faulty. Character is now stuck until help arrives with lubricant. Roll for Random encounter.

3     Demonseed! After the character makes his 'deposit' the machine grows a half man, half machine doppelganger that will be birthed within 1d4 weeks.

4     Love - Over the millennium, the machine has gained a kind of sentience and is now hopelessly in love with the character. It will follow him doggedly until destroyed. 

5     Vengeance - Over the millennium, the machine has gained a kind of sentience and feels violated by the character's actions. It will have its vengeance, or be destroyed in the process. 

6     The deposit activates a portal to the Dimension of Lust. Players choice if character goes through, but if he does, the character is gone forever short of a Wish spell. 

7     The deposit sucks the character into the Plane of a Boarded Up Van Down By the River. Returns in 1d4 weeks with severe psychological damage. 

8     The machine is the beloved toy of a Rock Troll. The character's use has driven the monster to raging jealousy and it will track him down and try to kill the character. Also, character has 1 in 4 chance of contracting Troll Herpes.

9       Healing Touch. The character regains all lost hit points, is cured of all disease and/or curses.   

10     A way with the ladies! The character learns a thing or two from the experience. Added bonuses when dealing with gender of greatest attraction. 

11    Its full of jade! The machine is full of jade, worth d100gold pieces

12    The machine itself is fully operational and powered by eldrich energies. To the right buyer, it would be worth thousands. 

Ring of Transformer-ation

Dude, I want that!

This ring that bears tears the ancient sigil of the grand wizard known as Ottobhot. When activated, it can transform the wearer into a giant metal monster capable of great speed (on flat, open areas only). The ring can be activated once every twenty four hours.

In monster form, the beast can also comforably carry two people and their gear (three people uncomfortably with no gear provided one is willing to ride in the monster's "trunk") as they are only a two door. The transformation only lasts an hour and if any riders or equipment or trash remains inside the driver when the enchantment wears off, it can have fatal consequences to the wearer.

Those that have experienced it say that the transformation is very painful. An enchanted illustration of the process is below.

PAINTED BOOBIE WARNING: Painting of the Fallen Madonna

The painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies* was painted by the Gnomeish Painter Yiggy Van Klomp. It is thought to be a portrait of the Marrgrave Aspasia Fescennine, a twice widowed heiress who was married to two very rich, and very old, men. After the death of her second husband, she became a known patron of the arts (and it is rumoured, artists), who sponsored Van Klomp briefly before he died in a duel with another of the Margrave's suitors.

The painting was never displayed publically and was banned by the church. During the war it was siezed by resistence fighters who tried to sell it to raise funds for their cause. They clashed repeatedly with enemy soldiers and after the war, the painting again disappeared. Its whereabouts is now unknown, but with the passing of the years it has become something of a legend amoung delvers. It's rareity and the ledgends that have grown up around it make the painting very valuable to the right collector.

Rumoured Location Table (D10)
1) In the now abandoned Maldaria Lazarette, now over-run with zombies.

2) In the private collection of the Duke of Sade. It is said that he will part with it, if his conditions are met. The first condition involves two Halflings and a large tub of clotted cream...

3) Under the matress of young Finny down the mill. His hands are said to the strongest in all the land.

4) Stolen by the mad wizard Korbantic Nerrf who put it in the treasure vault of his Krazy Kastle.

5) Displayed in the secret club of young, noble twits known as the Order of Merry Rogerers.

6) In the posession of the High Prelate of the Church who hung it by the entrance to his special 'Children's Room'

7) Lost somewhere in the endless vaults of the Lyceum of Sourcery.

8) On the mystical island known as Sapphoria where it is thought to portray a particularly sexy goddess.

9) In the posession of Black Sade the piratess and captain of the dreaded ship known as Lilith's Kiss. .

10) Destroyed in the war, but another of VanKloomp's work, 'Fallen Madonna Reclining on a Bed of Sailors' is known to have been sold to the Caliph and is currently hung in his hareem's watercloset.

*I watched a lot of Allo Allo as a kid.