April A to Z: The Continent of Zhuul

Well, that’s 26 in 26 days.

yay! Not all got out on the right day but hey, I got cancer … whaddayagonna do? I'm not happy with the quality of some of the later entries, but it was hard not to repeat myself and my attention has drifted off onto some other projects that I will elaborate here as they go.

I did manage to pick up a few followes, which is very cool.
Exploring the World of Nood
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The Continent of Zhuul

Lying like a squashed banana between the East Emerald Sea and the Seas of Mead to the south is the jungle cloaked continent of Zhuul.

On the far western horn, lie the Dribbling Deserts, once home to the mighty Byzhanistanium Empire, now a collection of warring city states and bandits that trade you a camel one moment, then steal it back the next. It is said that the ruins of a great civilization lies untouched in the heart of the Dribbling Dessert, unseen by mortal eyes since before the dawn of history, haunted only by the creatures that hunt in the deep desrt, djnns, and the restless mummies that stir in forgotten tetrahedrons tombs.

To the south, the deserts give way to the Savage Savannah, filled with terrible beasts and native tribesmen battling for dwindling resources beneath the burning sun. Where the great Knotted River empties into the South Emerald Ocean sites the city of Gozeria, the largest city on the continent and home to the Spicey Market, the Cockatrice Pits, The Tea Gardens and one of the world’s most famous schools of magic, the Academy of Acbracadabranas.

Even further south, and covering much of the squashed banana’s ‘bend’ lie the Jungles of Soul, filled with dark mysteries and its ever present funky mood. As the continent rises north again the jungles give way to mighty mountains and finally into the lands of Barbaria.

April A to Z: Yob Slobbersloth

Exploring the World of Nood
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Yob Slobbersloth

It came from the cold darkness between the stars, drawn by the bright souls that shone in that long dark, calling him like glitter across a stripper’s bosom to a drunken insurance salesman. It came, carefully at first, reaching into the minds of the fantastical, stupid and cruel, twisting their thoughts and desires until they served no-one but the dark master.

When the time was right, he came in the flesh, taking up residence in the Hazardrome, the grand gaming palace his followers built to his twisted desires at the centre of the once peaceful kingdom of Vanderdoom. As the years went by, Yob Slobbersloth’s influence grew and Vanderdoom became a Mecca for those seeking depravity, sin, games of chance and endless buffet tables.

The city’s influence slowly spread until a band of heroes known as the Wolf’s Army snuck into the city and enacted the Ritual of Begonning, expelling Yob Slobbersloth from the city, but also resulting in its destruction.

But the ritual was incomplete and as such, Yob Slobbersloth was not destroyed. His body was blown apart, but not one cell was killed and pieces of his flesh where scattered across Nood. Some lie hidden or forgotten, spreading their evil influence on the world around them, and anyone who dares live too close. Others have been collected by his followers, who seek to reconstruct their Dark Lord.

April A to Z: Mr. Xiang's Dumpling Hut

Exploring the World of Nood
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Mr. Xiang’s Dumpling Hut
Mr. Xang’s Dumpling Hut on Silver Eel lane in Cleopolis, is the last remnant of the fabled Empire of Pho.

April A to Z: The Wandering Island of Hyberia

Exploring the World of Nood
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Wandering Island Hyberia
The Wandering Island drifts peacefully in the region of the East Emerald Ocean known as the Pointless Sea that exists between the Corsair Island and Kashamash. This region, known for its calm winds and still water is the bane of sail driven vessels. Sailors also claim that compass readings in the sea are unreliable and that even the stars move, drawing ships in and leading them in circles until food and water run out.
The region is known for drifting and wrecked ships; the crews long dead from dehydration and starvation. Many are still heavily laden with treasure if one is willing to brave the vengeful spirits of the dead crews, and occasionally strange creatures that crawl up from the still waters.
A lucky few ships reach Hyberia, a tropical paradise that wanders freely through the Pointless Sea. The native inhabitants are peaceful, welcoming and accommodating. They are eager to trade and have many rare fruits, plants and a potent beverage known as Hyberian Comtational which can fetch ten times its price in Port Eel or the Corsair Ilse.

Despite its reputation as a paradise, the old sailors claim the isle is cursed. They say that once a year when the Moons align just so, the island sinks below the waters where the inhabitants must serve the dark creature that lurks below the Pointless Sea.

April A to Z: Veeg-Seta Nine

Exploring the World of Nood V Veeg-Seta Nine The survey and supply ship moved into the system, paying particular attention to the second planet in the system; habitable with a complex moon system comprised of fifteen and a half lunar bodies. Lifeforms detected on the main planet, the ship drifted into orbit around the largest moon and began its survey mission. Without warning, the ship was suddenly forced to land on the moon, drawn to it by an unknown power. They landed at the gates of a massive palace, seemingly inhabited, but unsupported by any known means of life support… They were met by a servant that invited the ship’s Command Council was invited inside. After long deliberations and negotiations, Command voted to accept the offer and on the third day, they entered the palace. Six standard time units later, only the Quartermaster returned, mortally wounded and pursued by beings or creatures unknown. Once aboard the ship, he claimed that the rest of Command was dead and they had to depart immediately. Unsure of what action to take, the remaining officers attempted to put the matter to standard vote, but were overruled when the Quartermaster initiated the launch sequence, and expired. The Ship took off without anyone left capable of navigation and as soon as it left the moon, it began to spiral into the gravity well of the main planet. Plummeting uncontrolled into the atmosphere, it began to break apart as it fell.

It crashed into a mountain range along the western coast of largest continent, first skipping off the nearby planes and finally partially embedding itself into a cliff-face; an unfortunate turn of events that resulted in the destruction of much of the main engines and the death of much of the Engineering department. Finally, the Ship settled and the fires burned themselves out, leaving a colony of approximately 15,000 mid-level officers and technicians to survive on this strange world where the laws of apparent laws science can be circumvented through the use of inscrutable process known as ‘magic.’ The dominant intelligent species, in a mangled translation of their arrival on the planet call them, ‘Moonies’, but they are the Veeg of Veeg-Seta Nine, the city of the Moons.

April A-Z: The Umpteenth Mile

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The Umpteenth Mile
This small village, located deep in the Morning Wood is home to the largest Sasquatch population close to civilization. Though some of the gentle giants have travelled south to Cleopolis and beyond, little is known about their natural homes in the deep woods. At Umpteenth Mile, they have established a small community in town made up of a few large woven-branch cabins, located perhaps not un-coincidentally near the Burdle’s Amber-Mead Brewery that is also the main export of the town. The Sasquatch there are a little wiser than their forest kin, knowing the value of money and occasionally purchasing tools, weapons, supplies and great quantities of mead in exchange for goods from the forest including rare woods, mushrooms, furs, nuts and berries. Indeed most Sasquatch who are driven to travel southwards usually come from Umpteenth Mile.

April A-Z: The Tarlek Traders

Tand U are not my best efforts, but feeling really foggy today. Exploring the World of Nood
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The Tarlek Traders
Moving across the open wilds of Flattened Planes, the Wild Beige and into the Black Expanse, the city of Córdoba is on constantly on the move. Run by the mighty Tarlek Traders, they are always in search of new looking for new goods to sell and new customers. Legend says that the city was once located on the Flattened Planes and was the centre of trade for much of North Albert, but after the rise of Cleopolis and Port Eel, the Tarlek Council decide to become travelling salesmen, uprooting the entire city and placing them on giant, wheeled carts pulled by the six legged beasts known as pedaphants. It is said that a Tarlek will sell anything. Dangerous drugs and slavery are the only exceptions to the rule and this mandate is enforced by the city’s Black Clerks, but not everyone is keen on following rules. The city is run by the Council, a collection of Tarlek clans that must pay for a seat. The head of the clan that contributes most to the Council that year is appointed Domo, a sort of mayor who leads the council. However, all determinations on where the city goes and what it does must be ratified by two-thirds of sitting council. The Tarleks are known for two things, their way around a sale and their eyewatering fashion sense. Each family clan has its own particular patterns and colour scheme and volatile feuds often erupt between clans if one feels that their style has been too closely copied. Indeed the entire city of Córdoba is decked out in a riot of colours and patterns that it can take the eyes a few moments to stop watering if first seen on a sunny day.

April A to Z: Sha'Nana

Exploring the World of Nood
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Sha'Nana
Somewhere west beyond the Elvish Empire and the vast unmapped reaches of the Morning Wood lies a mythical land known as Sha’Nana. When the dark spectre of Yob Slobbersloth desecended on the city of Vanderdoom, the elves in their southern enclaves tried to warn of the coming doom by writing letters to the editor, calling all the morning radio shows and complaining endlessly to their kids.

When the influence of Yob Slobberloth began to spread, the elves saw no choice but to leave their sun washed enclaves and travel north in great caravans. They entered the Morning Wood, and disappeared. Five hundred years later, two hundred years after the Yob Slobbersloth was driven from Nood, they suddenly returned, though not as the one people when they left. Divided, they were now split into three tribes, the Silvery Elves that had returned, the Greyish Elves who remained deep in the Morning Wood, and the Elurid, the elves who had been left behind and were now pale and twisted from their underground existence.

What happened in that mythical realm beyond the Morning Wood? It is said to be land akin to paradise, of gentle rivers, flowing hills, under warm suns. So what prompted their return? The elves refuse to answer.

April A-Z: The Temple of Ramallama

I think this finally catches me up!

Exploring the World of Nood
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The Temple of Ramallama
Deep in the Snarled Mountains, atop the highest peak on a mountain with no name lies a small temple tended by a handful of monks who never speak. This temple, mostly forgotten by the world around it, is the only known entrance to the Dungeons of Depravity; six hundred and sixty-six levels of dark labyrinth winding its way through the rock of the mountain and said to contain the souls of the six hundred and sixty six most vile, heinous, insane and utterly absurd souls ever to have walked the face of Nood.

When Yob Slobbersloth and his city of Vanderdoom was destroyed, a small force of monks from lands unknown landed in a small boat off the shores of the twisted Nether Regions. They began to hunt down the most affected by the unleashed Absurdity and took them to the unnamed mountain. Though the souls trapped within the mountain are imprisoned there, many have found ways to expand upon their underground realms, brining in treasures, guardians and even followers into their prisons. No one is sure if this is because the Monks numbers have decreased over the years, or if it all part of some mysterious plan.

The Monks allow anyone to enter the Dungeon, provided they survive the climb up the unnamed mountain. Some do so, seeking treasure or vengeance upon one of the souls trapped within. Returning is harder, for it is said that anyone who enters the Dungeon of Depravity and returns alive is destined to become one of the Silent Monks.

April A-Z: The Misplaced Continent of Qung

Exploring the World of Nood
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The Misplaced Continent of Qung
No one is sure if that is the real name or some gross mispronunciation of the land that exists beyond the great ocean off the eastern shores of Zhuul. Though some have tried, no one who has ever sailed that deep into the sunrise has ever returned, even the great explorer Zuzznufus Albertus XIII was lost, and only his polished skull returned, many years later, swaddled in a roll of silk bound for Kashamash.

It is said that in the time of the Caliphate of Byzhanistanium, mysterious vessels drawn by sea dragons would dock in hidden coves along Zhuul’s cliff and jungle choked eastern shore; trading rare spices, silks, gems for rare jungle woods, slaves and desert gold. These goods would crisscross Zhuul in mighty caravans as they traced well guarded routes to and from the markets of Kashamash, Port Eel and Cleopolis.

With the fall of the Caliphate, many of the old caravan routes faded away as civil war preoccupied the emirs. Trade must still go on however, as silks and rare spices can still be found if one looks hard enough. Exactly who is doing the trading, however, is still a secret of dark Jungles of Zhuul.

April A to Z: Port Eel

Exploring the World of Nood
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Port Eel
North of Suck Swamp, nestled in Catbag bay sits the city of Port Eel, a semi-autonomous city state technically within the borders of the Elvish Empire, but operating as a city state with its own laws and ruled by a human governor. The truly cynical claim that the city was set up as a tax haven for the Elven elite, and point to the amount of trade that filters through the Port, taking advantage of the lax tariffs and easily bribed border guards. The elves of Cleopolis swaddle themselves in cheap silks while supping on tropical fruits and say nothing.

Indeed the city is a haven of trade, welcoming ships from across Nood and as well as serving as a market for people across south Albert, such as Tarlek Traders, Gnome Caravans, supply drones from Vega-8 and farmers from the Flattened Plains.

The city itself is a wild place with few laws that cannot be overcome with a quick bribe to the city’s Glass Watch. The famous Dred Docks are a welcome port to pirates and privateers while rogues of all types prowl the streets of Dead Dolphin Alley, Turbot Hill, and Wanton Park. Due to the city’s lawless nature and proximity to the Unpassable Peaks, Suck Swamp and the Dragons Jaws, certain inns and taverns in the city have developed a certain reputation launching the carriers of famous adventurers such as Jack Wolfshead, Banzar “Fireball” Beedle, Hep Sharptoes and Spazzer Shineschnozz. For that reason, it is said that Fortune herself sometimes walks hand in hand with Death into the Twig and Berries, The Swordfish Grill or the Capricious Unicorn.

April A to Z: The Order of Chaos

Exploring the World of Nood
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The Order of Chaos

The Order of Chaos is a shadow organization so secretive that many who are in it aren’t even aware they are in it. Most might work down on the docks and every Firenight they tell that nice friendly man down at the pub how many barrels with the black wax seal get put on the last barge and for that they he buys them a drink. Little do they know that they are telling him in code exactly how many Dark Disciples are travelling up the Flowing Stair, each carrying the heart of a Rended Devil as a sacrifice to the still living shrine of Yob Slobbersloth.

At its highest levels, the Order has been blamed for the atrocities of the Crawling Tower, the dangers of the Flushing Whole, the price of beer and the rise of certain popular troubadours. Nevertheless, officials claim that the Order of Chaos does not actually exists, despite all the complicated handshakes, secret gatherings and black robes that may or may not be hanging in their closet.

April A to Z: The Nether Regions

Exploring the World of Nood

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The Nether Regions
South of the Unpassable Peaks lies the barren land of ruin and chaos known as the Nether Regions. Once the center of a sprawling kingdom known as Vanderdoom it fell under the thrall of the demon lord Yob Slobbersloth and became a realm of decadence, depravity and wanton sin. Everyone had a good time for a number of years until a small band of Heroes knows as the Wolf’s Army snuck into the Dreaming Palace and was able to perform the Begonning Ritual while plunging the Sword of Dragons into the Eye of the Golden Guardian, while destroying the Ring of Yob Slothersloth with the Hammer of Might. However, betrayed by one of their own, the Wolf’s Army failed to play the correct tune on the Canastas of Truth and the Ritual of Begonning was incomplete, resulting in the explosive destruction of Yob Slobbersloth’s corporeal form on Nood, (and a fair amount of rotting meat raining down up landscape) and a blast of absurdritch energy that levelled much of the kingdom in the ridiculous firestorm.

For years the region was engulf in a maelstrom of swirling, inane energies that rendered the land uninhabitable for close to a century. Once the storm began to pass, explorers began to inch their way into a landscape now so twisted it refused to play attention to any geographic, or temporal law. Monsters both fearsome and silly were born from the pieces of Yob Slobbersloth and even today, the land remains a bizarre and dangerous place. The Crawling Tower can been seen stalking across the landscape, The Endless Pit draws the unwary, The Shrinking Mountains are not a place to loose one’s perspective and the Orchard of Nigh are tended by the High Shepards. And at the northern edge lies the Burning Cliffs of Phlog, where Castle Sulk is said to watch all that transpires in the land below.

There are some signs of normality in the region; the town of Saferock has grown up at the mouth of the Knotted River and almost no-one turns into a goat there anymore. The town serves as a port of call for treasure seekers moving inland and as a point of trade for some of the bizarre inhabitants who call the Nether Regions home. The region is also infamous for the abundance of Goblins found here having, for strange purposes of their own, turned the ruins of Vanderdoom into the spinning fortress known as the Clockwork Castle.

April A-Z:The Morning Wood

Exploring the World of Nood

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The Morning Wood

The northern west reaches of Albert are covered with thick wilderness known as the Morning Wood. Much of it remains unexplored; the last significant habitation is the village of Mulched Foot about two days journey west of Cleopolis. Beyond that, there are only a few outlaws, adventurers and hermits, but the deep woods are only truly home to the Greyish Elves and Sasquatch. The land itself varies widely from deciduous glens separated by wide meadows to the south, to thick pine forests in the higher latitudes. The trees stretch on for league after league, broken only by rivers, lakes and mountains unseen and unnamed by humans.

The woods are a dangerous place, filled with lost ruins, mad wizards, duplicitous witches and hungry monsters. Trolls, winged moose, savage squirrels, sabertoothed sloths, drop bears, wholly crocodiles and other fearsome creatures can be found in abundance here. Even many of the plants themselves are dangerous; siren trees, purple mushrooms, ambush elms, and dysentery berries all making life difficult for any erstwhile explorers.

Only the elves know what lies beyond the Morning Wood, though according to legend it is the Elvish paradise of Sha’Nana. But as one scholar dared write, if it was paradise, why did they return?

April A-Z: Kashamash

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Kashamash
The independent, island state of Kashamash began as a port of trade, penal colony for the Caliphate of Byzhanistanium that once ruled over half of Zhuul. When Byzhanistanium crumbled, the region fell into a brutal civil war, known only for reasons lost to antiquity as the War of Nine Goats, that reduced the capital of Byzhan to ruin and disrupted the lucrative trade routes that had been the life’s blood of the caliphate.

As the war raged on the continent, Kashamash was largely removed from the fighting and many of the Emirs and Sheiks began transferring their money to the island where it remained under the personal protection of Sheik Sh’ek, who had once been chief vizier to the Caliph. Of course, Sheik Sh’ek charged a reasonable fee for his services and soon grew quite rich. When the port city of Antiquita burned, taking with it the Caliphate’s remaining fleet of ships, Kashamash declared itself a fully independent city state and opened its ports, and Bank Houses to anyone.

Since then the island has become a thriving port entered around the only city also known as Kashamash. Traders from across Nood and beyond congregate here and the city is dominated by the vast marketplaces where no goods are considered forbidden if price is no object. The city is open to anyone and things are kept peaceful by the Sheik’s red-caped soldiers that can be found throughout the city, though it is said that the real police work is done by a network of spies and informants known as the Red Whispers, who’s ears can hear all the way to Cleopolis and the shore of the Misplaced Continent.

Beyond the city, a few of the richer inhabitants have palatial homes or plantations though arable land is sparse and covered in thick jungles. A tribe of cannibalistic halflings known as the Babu once roamed the island, but are now found mainly in the volcanic cliffs around the island’s isolated north coast. There is a region in the city known as Little Babu which is popular for tourists looking for shrunken heads, rare feathers and other jungle treasures. Those that brave the local takeaway shop do so at their own risk.

April A-Z: The Jungles of Soul

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The Jungles of Soul
On the continent of Zhuul, between the desert of Al’Kuzamh and the land of Barbaria lies the steaming Jungle of Soul, a dark and dangerous land lost to time. It is an unforgiving region filled with lost tribes, mighty kingdoms, strange and ancient creatures, malicious flora and more monkeys than you can shake out of a barrel. Where death awaits every careless footfall, treasure unimaginable awaits the bold, brave and the lucky, all punctuated by a distant, funky drums.

Little is know about the deep interior of Zhuul, save rumour, tall tales and the ravings of madmen. They speak of the savage Living Stone tribe made up of lost explorers who have succumbed to the primitive beat of the jungles; of Toonga, the Kingdom of the Apemen surrounding the wide green lake known as the Emerald Ocean. Of the half-mile high Cloud Falls and the leaping fish that jump upwards to their spawning grounds. Of the teeny-elephant graveyard where patient treasure hunters armed with tweezers can find enough ivory to fill a small sack. There are endless tales of mad wizards, lost cities of gold, great magic and fearsome beings from beyond the stars. In short, a great place for future supplements and adventuresome Heroes to explore.

What is known about the Jungles is that it was the location of the first civilization to rise after the Exile of the Gods. As the millenniums have past, almost all knowledge, including its name, has been lost and swallowed by the jungle, but the Black Ziggurat of King Zayus I remains, carved with strange hieroglyphs and so far impervious to penetration. An order of scholar-monks has arisen around the Ziggurat calling themselves the Assemblage of Zayus. They have claimed to have deciphered some of the hieroglyphs and have sent a letter to the Lyceum warning of a that a pattern on the topmost tier warns of a rare alignment of the moons that is due in one year's time. The letter sent is incomplete and what it warns of is a mystery. The Lyceum plans to send an expedition to investigate the claims and see what has become of the Assemblage, who have become oddly silent in the past few months.

April A-Z: Isthmus Island

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Isthmus Island
In the hot and humid south, Isthmus Island dangles like an uvula off the shore of Cape Smuge. It got its name from the narrow strip of land that connects it to the Cape, but is surrounded by high seas and strong currents that submerged the land bridge for much of the year.

A lone watchtower stands at the edge of the Cape and is manned at all times by a small squadron of Imperial Legionaries. Being sent to the tower is considered punishment duty by most of the army, but those that serve a full year are often given significant promotions or honourable discharges with a hefty purse for their service. The soldier’s sole duties include sending a runner to Cleopolis whenever the land bridge is exposed, and preventing anyone, or anything, from crossing back from the island.

The soldiers have no orders to stop anyone to crossing to the island and without fail each time the bridge is exposed, a group of six figures dressed in green robes appears. Each leads a llama laden down with a large (and sometimes squirming) black sack and goods of every description. Without a word to the soldiers they cross over to the island. They do not return.

The island is heavily wooded with bamboo forests, palm groves and semi-tropical woodlands and rumoured to be riddled with sinkholes and limestone caves that can be flooded by the raging sea at any time. From time to time, soldiers on the watchtower claim they can see the something large moving through the trees, though what it exactly it might be is obscured by the thick canopy. At the far end of the island is a grey, half ruined castle surrounded by thick walls. At night, strange, ill-coloured smoke can be seen rising from the chimneys.

Some of the soldiers claim they have seen an evil hunchback in white who climes to the top of the highest battlement of the castle and points towards the sky. They say he rings a bell and yells, though even with their enhanced hearing, the elves cannot make out what he is saying.

April A to Z: The House of Hugsonthebiquiffinary

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The House of Hugsonthebiquiffinary
When the Silvery Elves returned from Sha’nana, they were not universally loved. Shortly after the fall of King Pladimir, a small alliance of human lords and elvish nobles was formed with the express purpose of overthrowing the Empress and her followers. The Elven nobles where looking to install their own leader, the Humans lords were promised a small kingdom of their own, independent of the growing empire.

They were led by Baron Hugson, a powerful landowner who had been a in the court of King Pladimir. He was also Grand Poohbah of the Cult of the Wiggly Tentacle, and slowly he indoctrinated the others in the alliance into his terrible sect. For almost two years, they gathered in his great manse and performed terrible, icky deeds to please the Dark Beings and gather enough power to fulfill their goals. The lands around the manse became a realm of nightmare as people where snatched from their homes, strange, unearthly creatures hunted living flesh, the dead opened pizza takeaways and the ground itself became particularly poisonous and nasty.

A rare tome written by one of the minor Elven Nobles involved with the cult seems to indicate that the Lords and Nobles became more obsessed by the Cult than their original goals until they began to prepare for the dreaded “Ganiz’Blig-Jablooy Yob Slobbersloth”; the Ritual of Summoning Yob Slobbersloth.

It is not know how close they came, but witnesses say that one night, the manse became enveloped in an unearthly light and disappeared.

To this day, no one knows what became of the House of Hugsonthebiquiffinary. Even the name is misleading as there is no Biquiffinary, either as river or county, and the elves claim that there is no record of the house or Lord Huggson ever existing. Yet some claim that the manse still exists somewhere, seemingly abandoned, but still filled with the horrors called forth by the misguided rebels, and home with enough gold and treasure to feed an army, ready to be claimed.

April A-Z: The Gods of Nood

Two a day until I catch up!
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The Gods of Nood

“The Gods Did Look Upon All that They Hath Created, and They Saweth that It was, Adequate.”
From the Book of Ogg.

There is always that unfinished project lurking in the back of your closet somewhere, started with the best intentions that never quite seemed to flourish into enough enthusiasm to see it through to completion. So it sits, tucked away in some dark little corner until accidentally stumbled across one rainy afternoon. Out of nostalgia you might tinker with it for a while, but soon enough it finds its way back to the bottom of the box underneath that Charlie Brown shirt you thought was so cool back in highschool. Even the gods have projects like these, and one such project was Nood.

It started as The Grand Ideal, a haven for all the grandeur and romance of the old tales, without all the grime, syphilis and general nastiness that tend to muck up real history. But the grand ideal faded during the constant squabbles over who didn’t put the top back on the stellar sparkles and the constant irritation because the tabs on the continental shelves never matched up properly. Finally, through the cosmic equivalent of copious use of a glue gun and a lot of cover paint, the gods managed to patch something together, but it never does ends up looking as good as it does on the box does it?

Last Gaffe of the Gods
As the ages wore on, the gods became debauched and cruel, treating their subjects as mere pawns and slaves and slowly a rebellion began to grow. The legends say that the final straw occurred when Izz, Father of the Gods, ordered a last minute, major change of choreography for his entrance parade and the backup dancers revolted; all ten thousand of them, starting a protest that flamed into open rebellion.

Lead by the Thakko, the First Hero, the Army of a Thousand Banners pushed the gods from their palaces, their nymthariums and their casinos and banished them to their Castles on the Moons where they dwell to this day. Forbidden by the One Thousand Contract to directly interfere in the affairs of Nood, they may only act indirectly through the tools of prophesy, their churches, vigorous door to door pamphlet campaigns and the prayers of their supplicants.

April A-Z Catchup: Feefawfummengar

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Feefawfummengar
Realm of the giants on the southernmost continent of Dwizenknard. The land is closed to outsiders and much of what occurs within its borders is based on rumour, legend and the tall tales told by the few heroes who have braved its icy interior, and survived.

The land takes up almost the entire eastern half of the continent and is ringed by the mighty Frosties, the tallest and meanest mountains in all of Nood. The only point of access is Thunderer’s Gate, a mighty fortress on the northern coast where the giants trade with the Elves and privateers from the Corsair Islands. Even then, outsiders are rarely welcomed beyond the Gate, and heroes thinking about sneaking in this way may want to recalculate the logistics of blending in, but not being ten foot tall.

Beyond, legend tells of a true land of giants. Giant animals and creatures roam beneath trees that reach hundreds of feet into the sky. Giant insects fly above flowers that bloom ten feet across and giant wolves stalk giant elk across the frozen tundra while giant raves drift over head, following giant bears… well, you get the idea. The land is dotted with ancient ruins, their origins lost in the misty mists of history. It is also said that some of the ruins are of human scale, while others in their glory would have dwarfed even the mighty Storm Lord.

The Giants themselves keep no cities, only massive fortresses. The largest is the called Hugemungous and it sits on the flank of Zoomoolungen, the highest mountain on Nood, where it is said the Storm Lord can watch everything that occurs in the land below.

Dwizenknards is a land constantly on the brink of war between the Giants of the east, the Dwarves of the south west and the human tribes of the western fjords: The mighty and feared Knardsmen.